I wrote this song right after I moved from LA to the east coast. It was kind of a venting session of my last few weeks living in my LA apartment. This song is an expression of how I felt while living there as well as my mental struggles of being a creative in LA. Its kind of like the “grass is always greener” concept. This song is about the constant struggle that I feel almost every creative has in while pursuing a career, espcially in LA. It is such a magical place that everyone dreams to be. Its sunshine, forrests, beaches and mountains, living amongst the stars and surrounded by opportunity. But it is also an intense place to live. Besides physical obstacles and cruely high living costs, its an intense place to be mentally. Its a never ending race of who can be bigger faster, who can make it, what do u have that’s better than the next person. It can be toxic, a constant popularity contest. We are deterred from the reality that there is room for everyone. There are those who are living their bests lives and there are those struggling but there is a denial that no one is allowed to struggle and I think that is very toxic. Im not saying LA is a terrible place. LA has given me so much and I am so very fortunate to have been able to call it home for so long, but this song is just the expression of how even though it is wonderful, it can be a mental struggle. Its just acknowledging that its not all magic and that creatives must battle with themselves and be persistent in the dream.We convince ourselves that being a creative will work out the way we envision it and we won’t get lost in the mix of those who “didn’t make it”. This song desfrivbes how me and my partner Paul lived in our LA aparment that was gorgeous but was too much for what it was worth. The upstairs neighbor would blast music from 9am to 1am almost daily until I thought I was losing my mind. The fire alarms were always going off and we spent so much time evacuating the building. The only time we got any sunlight was from 1-2pm and it was a sliver that only went on our balcony. There were definitely perks to living there, it was beautiful and in a wonderful location. I m grateful but this song is about the parts that weren’t so great. Like I said, im venting, not thinking my life was terrible because I am very grateful for what I had. But this song is about being human. About telling myself over and over again that I was good enough and that it would work out one day.
We decided to move across the country becuase we like change. Change of environemnt with new experiences and characteristics to offer. We evaluated our lives in LA. Were we happy? Did we NEED to be there? Why were we there if we didnt need to be, why were we wasting our money and time being unhappy when we could have more for less. We were confident in our LA relationships and decided to go to a small hometown where we could do our own thing. It was like a breath of fresh air. And though it I got to reflect on what I really wanted and what life was like outside an intense bubble. I love LA and California and it will forever be my favorite place, but this song is about being a human, a creative with ambition, about the reality that it won’t always be easy and we need to make sure your mental health is taken care of.
The instrumental has golden guitars and feel good rhythm, I wanted it to be hopeful and healing while tying back to the feeling of the first track “easy living”. 90s Boom-bap drums with smooth r&b guitar with a little swing to it feels light and thoughtful.I think the combination of sounds and lyrics embody perfectly a hopeful theme, something to make you feel better. We deal with all kinds of emotions, experiences and struggles but we change and become better, we get closer to our dreams when we keep ourselves on the right path and take car of our own mental health and our ambitions. Doing things we love and want to do and acknowledging being human. I end on a hopeful note, “im getting closer now”, with the warm guitar. With that enter a new chapter of myself. Letting go of things from the past, acknowledging the toxicity of myself and others and trying to evolve myself to be better.
“If there's a chance I'll take it. I’ve got a lot to live up to”